The purpose of this blog is to document my joys, frustrations, unique finds and general information pertaining to my experiences playing World of Warcraft.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

My Socks Are On Fire--The True Story

If you hang out with my guild at all, or late-night in Stormwind following trade chat, from time to time you will hear someone ask me if I have microwaved any socks lately.  In fact, one of our officers has this for a signature line:

So, just in case there is anyone out there that is actually curious, here is the whole story:

It was raid night, Tuesday, at approximately 9pm pacific time.  We were making progress with ICC achievements, trying to get everyone closer to their drakes.  I had taken a bio break and realized that the socks that I had hand-washed earlier that day for my boyfriend, who works from 2am to 10am, would NOT be dry in time for him to wear them to work.  I had not been feeling good earlier, so I hadn't done a whole load of laundry.  I had merely washed 3 pair of his black nylon socks by hand, and not wanting to waste dryer money on 3 pairs of socks, had hung them up over the tub in the bathroom, leaving the bathroom fan on so they would dry. 

It wasn't working.  In fact, the socks were still dripping wet.

Now, I have used the microwave in the past to dry a cotton tshirt, or to heat up a towel for muscle pain, etc.  So, I grabbed a pair of his socks and put them in the microwave, setting it for 3 minutes.

And went back to raiding.  I can't remember exactly which boss we were on, but if you noticed, the date on the above "feat of strength" is last August, so we were definitely in ICC.  At any rate, we either wiped or downed him/her and were either regrouping or moving on to our next task, so I took this opportunity to check the microwave.

The socks were still soaking wet.  Arrgh!

I set the microwave for at least another 3 minutes, but it may have been five.

And joined my guild in vent and in the raid once more.

Remember I said his black NYLON socks?

A few minutes into the next fight, I started smelling something weird.  I ignored it at first, thinking maybe the cat farted or I lit the wrong end of a cigarette.  (I quit smoking soon after this happened.)  But in the back of my mind, I knew something was wrong.

"I'll be right back, my socks are on fire."  This is what my guildmates heard in vent.

I dropped my headphones, ran the 3 feet to the kitchen, opened the microwave, and sure enough--smoke was pouring out, the inside of my microwave was green from the dye leeching from the burning socks, and they literally began smoldering in earnest as the wave of fresh air hit them.  I didn't even think about it--I grabbed them by the edges and hurled them into the kitchen sink, turning the tap on high and dousing them with cold water.  I then turned the fan on over the stove in an effort to get the rolling black smoke sucked up out of the apartment.  I was hacking and coughing, but trying to keep it down so I didn't wake my sleeping boyfriend.

This all happened in the space of a couple of minutes.  When I was satisfied the socks were no longer in danger of setting the apartment on fire, and that the smoke was indeed being sucked up by the fan over the stove, I returned to vent and the raid, apologizing profusely for holding everyone up.

"Hearthyn, did I hear you right?  Did you say your SOCKS were on FIRE??"  So I explained that yes, they had caught fire, how they caught fire, and that I put them out and would not try that anymore.  Everyone laughed, and we began raiding once more.

Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open, my boyfriend came stumbling out, yelling "Where is the fire?  Where is the fire?"  I explained to him that everything was fine, and told everyone in vent to hang on one second.  My boyfriend took a look around the apartment, saw the smoke still lingering in the air, and with a confused look, said, "But there was a fire?"

I explained to him my attempt at drying his socks before he left for work, and how I had put the "fire" out and everything was fine now.  "Go back to bed, you still have several hours before you have to get up.  You need your sleep!"

He clutched his chest.

He was breathing funny, too.

I told the guild I had to go.

After two hours in the emergency room, we were relieved to find he had just had a panic attack, and that it wasn't his heart.

We had to throw out the microwave.

I learned my lesson.  I do not dry his socks in the microwave anymore.

Well, not his NYLON socks...and not on RAID night...


  1. That tops the "brb my dog's attacking a koala" which was the previous best I'd heard on vent.
    Great story :-)

  2. LOL! I kinda like yours better--no one ended up in the ER for that one. Thanks!

  3. Oh boy, that's hilarious! I can't think of anything said in our vent that's quite that funny! Good thing there was nothing seriously wrong with your BF though!